It's a little sad today,
to know how there are people who deny their chance to believe that love exists.
who mock the intangible and incomprehensible (to them) pulse that exists between two others.
and the craziest thing is that there are actually those who care for them, and those that should matter, but the ignorant remains blind to them.
could anything be more bitter than feeling alone and unwanted, not by choice but by necessity?
anyhow, you belong in a different world from me, light years away.
Even though I've known you for almost a third of our short lives, you belong to a different space.
The couple of times you convinced yourself you've entered mine, you didn't.
Enfin, you've finally realised it's no use hanging on to hopeless dreams.
I'm glad for the fact that you think you've brought matters to a close, yet I'm still unconvinced.
I know you well. I've seen your type.
I hope I'm wrong, it'll be better that way.
Goodbye.

Lately, life has been moving incoherently.
I'm an incoherent mass.
a blob of consciousness, unconsciousness, drugged by pain.
If physical pain can bring me back to earth, so be it.
The lack of productivity is a humbling feeling.

T, you said it'll be nice to live in sunshine, to be sunshine.
I don't think I can be the sun.
I'm too much of a blackhole.
I've learnt to live in darkness well enough,
I know my way around in it.
I don't feel a need to change.
.....If I tried,
I have the faintest feeling that the brightness might sear my eyes shut for good.